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Ididn'tcrywhenIlearnedIwastheparentofamentallyhandicappedchild.Ijustsatstillanddidn'tsayanythingwhilemyhusbandandIwereinformedthattwo-year-oldKristiwas-aswesuspected-retarded.
"Goaheadandcry,"thedoctoradvisedkindly."Helpspreventseriousemotionaldifficulties."
Seriousdifficultiesnotwithstanding,Icouldn'tcrythennorduringthemonthsthatfollowed.
WhenKristiwasoldenoughtoattendschool,weenrolledherinourneighborhoodschool'skindergartenatageseven.
ItwouldhavebeencomfortingtocrythedayIleftherinthatroomfullofself-assured,eager,alertfive-year-olds.Kristihadspenthouruponhourplayingbyherself,butthismoment,whenshewasthe"different"childamongtwenty,wasprobablytheloneliestshehadeverknown.
However,positivethingsbegantohappentoKristiinherschool,andtoherschoolmates,too.Whenboastingoftheirownaccomplishments,Kristi'sclassmatesalwaystookpainstopraiseheraswell:"Kristigotallherspellingwordsrighttoday."Noonebotheredtoaddthatherspellinglistwaseasierthananyoneelse's.
DuringKristi'ssecondyearinschool,shefacedaverytraumaticexperience.Thebigpubliceventofthetermwasacompetitionbasedonaculminationoftheyear'smusicandphysicaleducationactivities.Kristiwaswaybehindinbothmusicandmotorcoordination.MyhusbandandIdreadedthedayaswell.
Onthedayoftheprogram,Kristipretendedtobesick.DesperatelyIwantedtokeepherhome.WhyletKristifailinagymnasiumfilledwithparents,studentsandteachers?Whatasimplesolutionitwouldbejusttoletmychildstayhome.Surelymissingoneprogramcouldn'tmatter.Butmyconsciencewouldn'tletmeoffthateasily.SoIpracticallyshovedapale,reluctantKristiontotheschoolbusandproceededtobe
sickmyself.
JustasIhadforcedmydaughtertogotoschool,nowIforcedmyselftogototheprogram.ItseemedthatitwouldneverbetimeforKristi'sgrouptoperform.Whenatlasttheydid,IknewwhyKristihadbeenworried.Herclasswasdividedintorelayteams.Withherlimpandslow,clumsyreactions,shewouldsurelyholdupherteam.
Theperformancewentsurprisinglywell,though,untilitwastimeforthegunnysackrace.Noweachchildhadtoclimbintoasackfromastandingposition,hoptoagoalline,returnandclimboutofthesack.
IwatchedKrististandingneartheendofherlineofplayers,lookingfrantic.
ButasKristi'sturntoparticipateneared,achangetookplaceinherteam.ThetallestboyinthelinesteppedbehindKristiandplacedhishandsonherwaist.Twootherboysstoodalittleaheadofher.ThemomenttheplayerinfrontofKrististeppedfromthesack,thosetwoboysgrabbedthesackandhelditopenwhilethetallboyliftedKristianddroppedherneatlyintoit.AgirlinfrontofKristitookherhandandsupportedherbrieflyuntilKristigainedherbalance.Thenoffshehopped,smilingandproud.
Amidthecheersofteachers,schoolmatesandparents,IcreptoffbymyselftothankGodforthewarm,understandingpeopleinlifewhomakeitpossibleformydisableddaughtertobelikeherfellowhumanbeings.
ThenIfinallycried.